Poèmes
Notes de l’auteur
Le passage en italiques est emprunté à Alejandra Pizarnik, “Como cuando se abre una flor y revela el corazón que no tiene”
Texte intégral
The Spring of Peoples: daffodils, murmuring pines, hummingbirds,
we’ll soon receive news of the revolution.
—Chus Pato (Trans. Erin Moure)
Direction of Flight
1.
At the fish market in Union Square we choose flounder fileted
and decline the oysters we cannot open.
From an elderly farmer, who looks like your grandfather,
we buy six narcissi, his only product.
They’re a pale buttery yellow, flecked with old-fashioned Monarch orange:
a colour scheme from your grandmother’s breakfast nook. A scene
that vanished in the twentieth century, as quickly as this perfume is subtle
yet the aroma does not know how to fill the subway car.
A tall man standing near the doors asks us what they are, says he only knows roses.
He nudges awake a passenger seated on the short bench made for one, tells him, make some space
and takes a seat on the edge. When we pass him, exiting the subway, he bids us
goodbye in a whisper. Next time he will look for narcissi,
heedless suns that push through crowds, always ahead of time.
2.
Midway through dinner a rash erupts across my face and shoulders.
Pomegranate-red raised hives: I’m flushed with toxins.
I sleep furtively, blinds lightly smacking the windowsill in the wind.
Heraclitus says all things are in flux and there is no unity
but in flux. In America, we plummet or flourish.
In the news this morning, the only story I read is the unexplained
death of Justice Sheila Abdus-Salaam, whose body was found floating
in the Hudson at 1:45 am at 132nd Street, West Harlem. She
wrote a judgment establishing non-biological parents’ rights. You call to me
from the living room, also reading this story. The poem is supposed to float
between us but mine goes under the moment the language of the law is introduced.
I am still florid this morning, weak with the bruised language of allergies.
To write such a judgment must require equal measures of deliberateness and delicacy.
You are not the other mother, the step mother, the mother-helper,
as you often gripe. We are grateful to the judge we have never known.
We are alive in the springtime of a law that knows our reality.
There is more light reflecting off of every surface. I scrutinize the awkward
prepositions “off of” and decide to keep them, grain in the film. On the way to see Wanda
at the Metrograph Rep Cinema, we’re on the F train and two men
seated on opposite sides of the car are conversing. Standing between them, I feel compelled
to move aside so they can see each other speak. “Did you see the story
about the judge?” “Fucked up shit, man. I only saw the headline.” “Do they have a suspect?”
“Not yet.” I am silent. It’s nearly Easter. I lack reverence for tradition, but the subway car
is holy. By nightfall, the police will have decided the judge committed suicide
because her mother and her brother committed suicide on Easter, a painful anniversary.
No one is satisfied with this explanation.
3.
Barbara Loden’s Wanda was inspired by a headline about a robbery accomplice:
Woman Thanks Judge Who Sentences Her to Prison. Who is this woman who says thanks?
She’s a drifter from a mining town with an empty purse. She barely flinches when he slaps her.
She’s hungry and numb, poverty without end, dependent, desperate. She’s also beautiful
but abject and therefore dismissed as stupid, because she’s beautiful and abject.
She struggles to read the newspaper, slow and uncertain. She’s homeless
like Mona Bergeron or Tess of the d’Ubervilles, fictional heroines.
But Barbara Loden is Wanda and her scenes are mostly improvised. She’s also the director
wearing the pants that were thrown out the window. All of this symmetry makes me weep: she
plays the powerless on screen but is omnipotent behind the scene. I weep
for the absence of tears when the flower opens and reveals the heart it does not have.
The tragedy of Wanda is lack, that hope is withheld absolutely, that she remains forever ignorant
of what she should want. All she knows is what she has rejected and she arrives at nothing.
4.
There will be more for her to reject, but so much time wasted in the process. Daffodil petals
are frail in your hands, yet the flowers regain their strength in a vase with water. The law
of water is that its colour will change. Icarus flies into the sun. Adolescent, he desires the highs
of lawless experience. Wings melted, wax mixing with pond water, he floats on his back.
His father built sturdy wings and imparted his knowledge. Then like a couplet
they burst into impossible flight together. This structure was not to last.
The law of flight is contained in the heart of the daffodil. The law of revolution
is renewed in the heart of flight. The law of knowledge is carried by Icarus
where it changes too quickly to name.
5.
In Landscape Crossed by a River, with the Fall of Icarus, faint white caps on the water
could be feathers from wasted wings. The boy’s flailing limbs, although disproportionately
large, are ignored by the onlookers. A seamless horizon exchanges values
of sea and sky, uninterrupted and impassive. To everyone else, Icarus is an afterthought.
Even in Bruegel’s title, he’s an afterthought. Nudged into memory by the flickering cursor.
Spring wants to pour onto us the warmth of forgetting, despite
the small flags that tighten within us.
Scars at the tips of shipmasts are icons, curling sails are ribbons in the importunate
hair of girlhood. Your heart bends forward toward nightfall.
You will never know whether their impassivity is ignorance. You need to press
your face into the daffodils to smell their perfume. You need to leap from your easy
passivity and be prepared to swim. An index finger is missing
from a statue on the pier. It must have pointed outward but to what?
A child looks in the direction of her mother’s missing finger. Its absence is only secondary
to the absence of what it pointed to. To the mother’s knowledge
all else is parenthetical.
6.
Poem crossed by an avenue with the fall of daffodils.
Two rivers with the fall of roses,
with the fall of night, with the fall of our lovers, who were persuaded,
with wax that melts, with film that decays, without direction, inside an absence, under layers of
law, imposing upon them, with the fall of peoples, with the fall of curtains, with the fall of paper,
with persistence, if that within them, if that is in them
April 12-15, 2017
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Référence électronique
Angela Carr, « Poèmes », Sillages critiques [En ligne], 23 | 2017, mis en ligne le 01 décembre 2017, consulté le 17 mars 2025. URL : http://0-journals-openedition-org.catalogue.libraries.london.ac.uk/sillagescritiques/6032 ; DOI : https://0-doi-org.catalogue.libraries.london.ac.uk/10.4000/sillagescritiques.6032
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